I am starting to feel like I am well on my way to becoming an insane person.
How is it that I can love a tiny little warm body so much, and yet wish that she would, well, just go away? Not forever, mind you, just for long enough for me to do all of the many many things that I am trying to do, supposed to do, and maybe even, God forbid, things I WANT to do? Not that I can even really remember if there is anything I want to do. I am so busy being a wife, a mom, an employee, a homeowner and bill-payer, a ministry leader, a friend, and whatever else, that I am starting to really grieve ME. Oh yeah, I remember--I really want to write. I also really want some friggin' time to relax, so that I don't do things like randomly cry when I talk to people, or hysterically overreact when I feel frustrated by Jeremy or Selah.
But how am I supposed to do that when I am so tired, and when I have a toddler who often wails and cries and clings to my leg when I try to leave the room even to go to the bathroom, use the phone or the computer, or go put clothes on? How can I sit down and be creative when I can barely think enough to do my work over the angry whines (she has started to hate my computer)?
Anyway, I am done feeling sorry for myself. However, if you happen to know any babysitters who want to work for free, please let me know! :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Funny Thing
This morning, I heard Selah playing in her crib (and it was even a fairly reasonable hour by this point). I got her up, and brought her to our bed to wake her daddy up. She jumped all over us for a few minutes, turned on my clock radio, then left, following Emily. We just lay there and listened, and it just made me crack up.
First, as she went after Emily, I listened with trepidation, waiting for Emily's distress cries, but they didn't come. I think she must have been asking Selah to let her out, but Selah just started trying to convince Emily that she should go to bed. Selah takes great joy in putting "babies" (stuffed animals and dollies), as well as ME, to bed, saying, "Ni ni. Ni ni." [For those who are not members of the Garwood family, "Ni ni," pronounced nigh-nigh, means good-night.] So she followed Emily around, who was meowing, saying "Ni ni!" and we listened. Emily did not listen.
Then, Selah discovered Jeremy's cereal and ice cream bowls from last night (yes, on the floor--don't judge us please. We are tired and tend to console ourselves with food at night, and then not clean up, apparently). She tried to bring them into the kitchen to put them on the counter, but, by the sound, didn't quite succeed. So then, she thoroughly rebuked Emily again: "No yum-yum! No! No yum-yum!" I believe this was loosely based on when Jeremy and I won't let Selah have food she wants (either something she has spied on our plates or something she has tried to pull off the counter or out of the pantry). So Emily was not allowed to have any of the imaginary food that was in Selah's bowls. I'm sure Emily was crushed, though she didn't throw a tantrum like the toddler in question tends to do.
Next, after a bit of loud running, Selah started saying, "Bye bye! Bye bye!" I couldn't see her, but would give my left arm if she didn't have her purse on her arm. She enjoys picking it up, slinging it over her shoulder, waving, and saying, "Bye bye!" to show that she is leaving. (Presumably whoever is the recipient of this show is being left with a babysitter; hopefully Selah would not leave us unattended.) Meanwhile, Emily was probably holding her breath, hoping that Selah truly would leave.
I turned to Jeremy and laughed, "It's like a whole little household is going on out there!" The funny thing is that Selah treated Emily as she feels treated: go to bed! No, you can't have any food! Bye! We are leaving you! At least she has an outlet, though--Emily clearly falls lower in the power hierarchy than Selah does.
First, as she went after Emily, I listened with trepidation, waiting for Emily's distress cries, but they didn't come. I think she must have been asking Selah to let her out, but Selah just started trying to convince Emily that she should go to bed. Selah takes great joy in putting "babies" (stuffed animals and dollies), as well as ME, to bed, saying, "Ni ni. Ni ni." [For those who are not members of the Garwood family, "Ni ni," pronounced nigh-nigh, means good-night.] So she followed Emily around, who was meowing, saying "Ni ni!" and we listened. Emily did not listen.
Then, Selah discovered Jeremy's cereal and ice cream bowls from last night (yes, on the floor--don't judge us please. We are tired and tend to console ourselves with food at night, and then not clean up, apparently). She tried to bring them into the kitchen to put them on the counter, but, by the sound, didn't quite succeed. So then, she thoroughly rebuked Emily again: "No yum-yum! No! No yum-yum!" I believe this was loosely based on when Jeremy and I won't let Selah have food she wants (either something she has spied on our plates or something she has tried to pull off the counter or out of the pantry). So Emily was not allowed to have any of the imaginary food that was in Selah's bowls. I'm sure Emily was crushed, though she didn't throw a tantrum like the toddler in question tends to do.
Next, after a bit of loud running, Selah started saying, "Bye bye! Bye bye!" I couldn't see her, but would give my left arm if she didn't have her purse on her arm. She enjoys picking it up, slinging it over her shoulder, waving, and saying, "Bye bye!" to show that she is leaving. (Presumably whoever is the recipient of this show is being left with a babysitter; hopefully Selah would not leave us unattended.) Meanwhile, Emily was probably holding her breath, hoping that Selah truly would leave.
I turned to Jeremy and laughed, "It's like a whole little household is going on out there!" The funny thing is that Selah treated Emily as she feels treated: go to bed! No, you can't have any food! Bye! We are leaving you! At least she has an outlet, though--Emily clearly falls lower in the power hierarchy than Selah does.
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