I am having a hard time not taking out my pregnancy fatigue on Selah, who of course would not understand. Yesterday was a horrendously long day, with Jeremy gone before Selah woke up at 7, and not returning until after she had gone to bed, and our 13.5 hour day in the interim included the gym, the DMV, meeting friends at a restaurant...in short, it was tiring!
I was getting out of the shower toward the end of this day, hurrying to get ready to go back out for the restaurant, and Selah ran into the kitchen, waving a pair of small, sharp, orange-handled scissors. (She owns a pair of small, blunt, orange-handled scissors). Horrified, I snapped, "Hey! Those aren't yours! Those are sharp!" yada yada.
Disappointed, as she clearly thought they were her scissors, Selah argued, and threw a fit when I put them back (I was still not wearing any clothes, and cold and mad). Letting the moment get the better of me, I pulled out her scissors, and said, "Look! These are yours! They are not sharp." I hucked them onto the floor and...they broke.
Understandably, Selah really melted down then, since she had wanted to play with her (cherished) scissors, and then I broke them. I stormed back to the bathroom to dress and dry my hair, and when she came in, I apologized for breaking the scissors, and said I shoudn't have thrown them. She forgave me.
However, when I came back into the living room, there she was, reenacting the whole sordid scene with her toys. One, the oppressed toy, was crying out in grief, "Those were brand new! And you broke them!"
I should probably start saving up for a therapist now. But meanwhile, I might need one, since pretty much my every fault or error is remembered and imitated for my enjoyment. Sigh.
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2 comments:
ugh---too true! If my kids are nice and benevolent, it's because God made them that way. Anything evil and irritating came straight from me. (Right?) hmm...
Even though this blog was from March, I just read it and wanted to comment.
Don't feel bad about Selah reenacting the scene with her toys--in fact, that's super healthy! And it's something that us "grown-ups" don't do and *then* have to see a therapist about.
I recently read a book called "Waking the Tiger" about how people don't deal with all these little traumas in our lives. And "trauma" doesn't have mean something BIG, just something that is upsetting and that we latch onto. We cognitively "rationalize" that everything is okay, but we haven't really gotten the issue out of our systems.
When Selah was redoing the scene with her toys she was essentially wrapping her head around the situation so she could be in control of it (literally--like the Greek Gods acting things out with little human dolls!). Even though you rationally explained things to her and apologized, it's something she had to do to get a handle on the situation herself.
I 100% recommend "Waking the Tiger." But, like you need another book to read, Laura. :)
xo
e
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